The Laws of Transparency
To share or not to....
Transparency is one of the easiest ways leaders can build trust with their teams. Actually, it's the easiest way anyone can build trust with anyone! There is an established science behind why people feel good after sharing some juicy information with somebody who either didn’t have it or shouldn’t have it. When people share interesting information, they are rewarded by the attention of the other person. The receiver feels valued that you decided to trust them with this information, making them feel important. In general, it creates a deep feeling of well-being, trust, and belonging for both the sharer and the receiver.
However, transparency can be a sword without a hilt and can stab you in the gut if you aren’t careful about who you share information with and if you don’t have a clear purpose behind sharing information.
If you don’t think through the repercussions of your big mouth…I mean choices—you could decimate the trust your organization, your boss, and your team have in you. This post is about how to be transparent the right way and the potential pitfalls of doing it wrong. But before anything, it is worth starting with the golden law.
If someone explicitly tells you not to share something, don’t share it. If you are one of those folks whose head will explode if you don’t share secrets, share it with your spouse or a close friend to get it out of your system.
Ok, with that out of the way, let’s first start with the laws of transparency
General laws of transparency (as defined by yours truly)
If someone explicitly tells you to not share something, don’t share it (Golden Law)
People managers are generally more discreet than others and will honor your request to keep things discreet.
Information travels the fastest in large organizations (specifically, sales and engineering), so be careful.
Sometimes, sharing information with people who might not normally have it could be mutually advantageous.
If you don’t know why you want to overshare with someone, just don’t.
Don’t gossip.
With those tenets in mind, let’s unpack what it means to be transparent with people. However, before you share something with someone, you have to consider two things. 1) Ripple effects of sharing something (sensitive or otherwise) with them, and 2) Why are you sharing it with them? Let’s unpack both.
To understand the side effects of sharing information with someone, consider the following-
How close are you to this person? Do you know where you stand with them?
Open up your company’s org chart and think through the implications of this person potentially sharing this information with their peers or maybe even their boss. As I mention in the laws of transparency, the larger the org, the wider the blast radius.
Can the information you shared with them affect their current roadmaps or plans? If it does, how do you think this leader will react, especially if the impact on their plans is negative?
Can your information negatively affect the career of somebody who is close to this person?
In all the above situations, what happens if it gets out that you are the source of the information? How does it affect your reputation?
Keeping all the above in mind, there are a few reasons you might want to share sensitive information with someone
You want their feedback about something sensitive and/or personal. When you ask someone to opine on something that is delicate or personal in nature, chances are they will keep it discreet. Also, this is a human flaw, but it boosts people’s egos when others come to them for feedback, and they would want to do the right thing, which is keeping the conversation private.
You want them to trust you with sensitive information. The easiest way to get someone to trust you wholly is to show them that you trust them by sharing information they might not have. However, before you do that, walk through the checklist from the top section to understand the implications of them getting access to this information. An easy way to build an information pipeline with someone is to share something personal that you don’t normally share with everyone. Because it is your personal information, the worst case that could happen is for someone else to ask you about it when you are not prepared. When others see you being vulnerable, they will be (or at least try to be) vulnerable with you.
I understand that not everyone will be comfortable about sharing personal information with anyone, but remember that there is a wide spectrum when it comes to personal information. The bottom line is that sharing something personal will enable that person to start trusting you easily. Keep in mind that this technique will only work as a way to kickstart (ha! a pun!) a relationship. To make it durable, you will have to do the hard work involved in building strong relationships, which is best saved for a future post.
You want them to actively or passively start thinking about something. I often share information with leaders (and individuals) if it helps them better prepare for the future state of their world. If the information is supposed to be kept discreet, I tell them so. If I want them to start thinking about it actively, I tell them that so they are aware of any looming timelines. If you don’t want them to do anything with the information you give them, then that information is just gossip. Gossip is the crack of the information world. Addictive, but not good for you or them.
If you are sharing critical feedback about a person, the only three people you can share it with are a) the person themselves, b) their manager, and c) HR, and preferably in that order.
Commiserating. OK, this last one is a little tricky and controversial. A very small amount of commiserating with a peer is sometimes helpful. Sometimes, it is helpful to share your miseries with someone else who either might be in the same boat as you or is in a position to understand you. However, for this to work, commiseration has to lead to solutions or collective brainstorming about how to get out of the hole both of you are in. It will feel good to dwell in the misery, but trust me, it won’t be helpful in the long run. Use the shared pain to build a path out of the pain. Staying in the pain is just like gossiping. Addictive but ultimately not healthy or helpful.
That’s it, folks, until next time!
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